Stephen…and the anaphylactic shock
Okay okay so I was being a tad dramatic with the title of this one, but now that I have your attention…
In the midst of the chaos, there was someone that deserves a little airtime.
Let’s start with Stephen.
Stephen was super cute. Totally nerdy, but I liked it. He was very different from other guys I had dated, and that was a huge attraction to me. Obviously, what I had been doing was not working, so I was excited to date someone different. He was intellectual, and loved documentaries like I do. We talked for so long on the first date. I was intrigued by him and wanted to dive deeper. Which leads me to date number two.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that food is the way to my heart. If a man can cook me a meal, I will be in love. 9 times out of 10, I will like them even more once they feed me. However, if they cook for me, and I still have no desire to makeout with them, then I know they are just not the one for me. Not very scientific, but it never fails.
So, for date number two, I invited Stephen over and he offered to cook (SCORE!). We had an amazing time and I loved his company. But it wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. A little ways into the date, Stephen revealed he was allergic to dogs. Keep in mind, I had a large Great Dane- Lab mix that loved nothing more than to jump, drool, and shed. Do you remember the scene from the movie Hitch where Will Smith’s character had the allergic reaction to the seafood they ate? This was kind of like that (okay so, maybe not exactly that dramatic..but that’s how I visualize it now). Stephen was literally puffy, and sneezy, and snotty, and Snow White’s other dwarves too. I scrambled through my medicine cabinet and found some old generic Benadryl (not 100% sure it was not expired. Whoops. Who keeps up with that stuff anyway?) and some nasal spray. In hind sight, I guess it was a little odd that I let him borrow my nasal spray.. but oh well, the boy had to breathe!
……….
A little side story here..
So that same night, Stephen and I had somehow brought up the topic of health insurance (don’t ask me why, because I really have no idea). When he mentioned he paid an amount astronomically different than what I paid, I was taken aback. He casually stated that he was paying for his and his son’s healthcare. Mind you, I am 100% onboard with men having children and bringing them into a new relationship. Everyone deserves love. And being that I’m basically in my 30’s now, it’s often more common than not, that the men I date have had previous children and/or marriages. That’s totally cool. However, I feel like that may be something to mention on date number 1? Or maybe make it an official conversation versus throwing casually into a conversation about insurance of all things? I mean, I don’t know. I am okay with it, but it doesn’t mean everyone you date will be.
Is there a right or a wrong way to tell your partner that kind of information? Asking for a friend..
……….
Besides the near-death allergic reaction (don’t worry, I exaggerate), date number three was a go. He and I went to a nice dinner, and then came back to my apartment to chat on my balcony. Side note; I was on an antibiotic at the time and was unable to consume alcohol without becoming violently ill, so I was 100% sober for this date. Something felt off. It could have been my lack of alcohol intake, or just lack of connection. I’m honestly not sure. But after that, Stephen slowly but surely became “too busy” and “too broke” to hang out. Of course, I suggested cheap/free ways we could still hang out, but he didn’t take the bait. So, I took that to mean he wasn’t really interested, and moved on. There was never a conversation. Just kind of a slow drift. Sometimes that’s just the way it goes.
GREEN FLAGS:
- Intelligent; in a nerdy and endearing way
- Motivated and passionate about his career
- Similar interests- documentaries, museums, learning things
- Willing to go into anaphylactic shock for a date (haha just kidding.. but he did put up with allergies and my dog so he got some points for that for sure)
- Enjoys cooking
RED FLAGS:
- Allergic to dogs (this isn’t necessarily a red flag, because it’s obviously not something he could control, but just something to consider because I am never getting rid of my dog. So I guess we could call this a “yellow flag” due to the fact that it would be an added challenge in the relationship)
- Possible lack of connection (initial spark kind of fizzled)
- “Too busy” to make time for me (I personally feel like no matter how busy you are, you can always make a little bit of time for the person you’re with if you really wanted to. Even if its just a simple text message checking in. Effort is effort).
Being that where I live is a small town disguised as a city, I still run into him from time to time. He seems to be doing well. And for those of you wondering, I just checked, and he’s still busy.
Swipe Right.