Jeremy…and the perfect timing.

 Next up, Jeremy.

This guy was a diamond in the rough. Something I didn’t even realize I was looking for. He was tall, dark, and handsome (per usual 😉). He had a good job, a solid group of friends, and owned his own home (which I admire).

For our first date, we went to eclectic farm-to-table restaurant in a nearby neighborhood. (funny side story; I took an uber because I never like to drink and drive; plus I hate to worry about parking. My uber driver stopped his car down the road and told me I was at my destination. I was not. So I ended up having to walk down the street looking for what I thought was the right place. But don’t worry, I made it eventually.) I don’t want to divulge too many details, but this place was so fricken good. Everything felt so healthy and fresh, and made you feel like you were saving the planet somehow. Okay, okay it was called Zeppelins. Please go if you ever get the chance.

Jeremy and I had great conversation. We ate, laughed, drank, and had a great time. One thing that stood out so much to me was that we could have a truly complex and intellectual conversation. Neither one of us had to dull down the conversation for the other. After meeting him, I realized this was a different type of connection than I had ever had with someone before. Yes, there was physical attraction. However, I felt like the intellectual connection was so much stronger and honestly more important.

I feel like my past relationships started with that spark; a physical attraction, playful banter, sarcasm, leading to getting to know each other. But this relationship with Jeremy felt different to me. It was a connection deeper than that.

At the end of the date, we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. In hindsight, I should’ve realized that we didn’t kiss, and maybe he was friendzoning me from the start. But I was too excited to have found someone who was genuinely kind, liked to have fun and also liked to read books enough to have actual favorites (WOAH this was unheard of in my dating pool). He was the kind of person I wanted to have in my life; in whatever way that may have been.

Over the next few weeks, we talked often and discussed ideas for date number two (romantic dinner, wine tasting, etc). Even though he talked the talk, Jeremy drug his feet when it came to actually bringing it into fruition and setting up a second date. I could feel the disconnect growing between us, but tried to ignore it because, as you may have figured out by now, I tend to get in my head and overthink a little (okay, a lot). Long story short, he ended up telling me that a best friend of his had suddenly become a romantic interest that he wanted to pursue.

HERE WE GO…AGAIN.

I wish I was making this up, people! Once again, I have managed to receive the runner-up award. The, “you’re so great, but…” medal. The “participation” trophy, if you will.

…..

It was around this time that another curve ball was thrown. My dog, Sullivan, had been developing a strange lump on the top of his head. After weeks of tests, biopsies and scans, he had been diagnosed with a malignant bone cancer known as multilobular osteosarcoma. I was heartbroken, terrified, and had to make some really serious and crucial decisions and had zero clue where to begin. Do I let nature take its course? Do I put him through an invasive brain surgery? He was only 3 years old at the time, which made my decision even tougher.

…..

I had mentioned my struggle with Jeremy (as we were still communicating as friends at this time), and he invited me out to trivia with his friends to help take my mind off of things. As it turns out, I ended up in the BEST possible company. By pure circumstance, Jeremy’s best friends all happened to be veterinarians. I kid you not.

I explained to them my situation; the diagnosis, the options, the surgeons and specialists involved. They were able to talk it out with me and provide me the confidence I needed to make my decision. They had nothing but rave reviews and confidence in my surgical team. Yes, this night out was meant to take my mind off of things, but as it turns out, talking about it out loud with the right company, was just what I needed.

Jeremy and I saw each other once more (in the company of his friends). Soon after, his new love interest moved in and quarantined with him (gotta love the coronavirus). So, that was the end of that.

Green Flags:

-          Intellectual connection

-          Smart, funny handsome

-          Honest, and not trying to play games or lead me on (too much)

-          GREAT FRIENDS (which he honestly didn’t have to invite me to meet, so that was kind of him. Or he was just confused and figuring his shit out..)

Red Flags:

-          Led me on a little (but not as long as most, so I will take that as a win. I’ve got to take what I can get, you know?)

-          Confused as to what exactly he wanted

As I liked to do when all of my relationships came to an end, I had to find the reason why the person was brought into my life in the first place. I’d like to believe that Jeremy was brought into my life to show me that a real intellectual connection can exist. Maybe he was meant to show me that you can have a physical attraction and spark, but that the deeper connection couldn’t be measured by appearance. Before him, I never really knew I could find both in the same person. Maybe I met him not to know him at all, but instead to be led to his friends who would ultimately help me in my most desperate of times. For that, I am so thankful. If Jeremy or his friends ever read this, I want to say thank you so much for providing me the peace that I needed in my weakest moment. I will be forever grateful.

It’s that time again…

Swipe Right.