Mark…and the fire hazard
Oh Mark. He’s definitely a guy to remember. I feel like in life, we have these relationships in which we’re connected to the other person in various ways. You may have an emotional connection, a spiritual connection, an intellectual connection, or a physical connection. Mark was definitely the physical connection for me.
He was the type of guy that commanded attention when he walked into a room whether he knew it or not (but he definitely knew it). He was a successful business man and restaurant owner, who dressed to the nines, and smelled like a hug. (Side note; I don’t know if it’s just me, but do you ever smell certain colognes and they just remind you of a hug? Okay, just me? Alright then. Moving on.)
This guy, unlike most guys in my dating pool, actually enjoyed talking on the phone. He would call me just to check in or “just to hear my voice”. Swoon. This guy was good. He knew exactly what he was doing. But hey, it worked. So honestly, who could blame him? Why fix what isn’t broken.
Mark was the type of guy that wanted people to know we were together when we were out. Coming from my past relationships where I never felt good enough, this was a nice change. He was the type that always had to have his hand on my thigh when we sat at the bar, and would kiss me before he left the table to go to the bathroom. He was passionate, and funny, and was definitely not lacking in the romance department.
He always had this thing around his finger. Oh, I’m sorry, that was just me. I was WRAPPED.
Mark and I hung out for a few months. A part of me had a feeling it wasn’t going to be anything too serious, because as much as I liked him, we just lived very different lifestyles. I used to have to tell him to blow out his candles before we left his apartment, because he didn’t see the problem. My anxiety was not okay with that. Case and point, he threw caution to the wind. In all seriousness, and in a more practical sense, he started his work day in the evening and ended in the early AM hours, and I was the exact opposite. We saw each other few and far between, but when we saw each other, it was magical. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that that wasn’t enough. Never the less, we continued talking for a little while.
When my parents came to visit a few months in, we ended up at a wine bar right next to his apartment. I let him know we were there, and let him decide whether or not to join us. Next thing I know, Mark was strolling in. Looker dapper as always (side bar: in my head when I was typing this I actually said, “looking fine as hell” with a finger snap). Of course, he charmed the socks off my parents. Charm is what he was good at. He drank with my mom and shared a cigar with my dad.
He and I continued to talk after that weekend. But slowly I became a little less forgiving with his lack of communication and effort. I would get a lot of the messages like “hey, I wanna see you” or “I miss you” with zero follow through or attempt to make plans. If you really missed me, wouldn’t you make a plan to see me?
Then came the final straw.
Mark had offered to make me dinner (hollaaaa) which is truly the way to my heart. A man who knows his way around the kitchen is so attractive so me. I literally don’t even own a spatula. Anyway, I got off work, went home, and started getting ready. Five o’clock rolled around and I hadn’t heard from him. Around seven o’clock he texted me (after I had texted him to see what was going on) saying he “got caught up at the gym”. Now I am not a gym-goer by any stretch of the imagination, but how does one get “caught up” at the gym? You lift too many heavy weights and forget how to tell time? At this point I’m hungry, and I know that if he is just now leaving the gym, then we will not be having dinner together. Finally, at nine o’clock, he texts me to tell me he is on his way over. Shortly after that, I get a phone call where he tells me he was putting on his shoes, but he got a leg cramp and couldn’t move.
I hope you are laughing in disbelief right now. But I kid you not.
I told him to eat a banana. Unfortunately, he did not appreciate my lack of sympathy in response to his cramp situation (resulting in him blowing me off, mind you). Following my “lack of pity”, he told me he thought we should “just be friends” because he couldn’t give me “the time or attention I needed”. Wait a minute, who’s the one who needs the attention here?
This is not to say I was not at fault here. Maybe I could’ve been a little more understanding. I think if this would’ve been the first event in which I felt like my time was being disrespected, I truly think I would’ve been more forgiving, and maybe a little more sympathetic. But the feeling of not being prioritized time and time again just got the better of me. I was looking for a F&%$ to give, and just couldn’t find one. Whoops.
After that, we kept our distance. Every now and again, he will reach back out to check in and catch up. A part of me wonders if that passion would still be there now, or if it was only temporary.
GREEN FLAGS:
- Handsome
- Passionate
- Successful
- Got along with my parents (but then again, I don’t think there is a person on this planet that they wouldn’t get along with)
- PHONE CALLS (give me all the heart eyes)
RED FLAGS:
- Never making concrete plans; poor follow through
- Different lifestyles (not always considerate of my time or my schedule)
- The leg cramp that ended it all (must not have been a very strong foundation for a relationship if a leg cramp was enough to throw in the towel, eh?)
I’d like to believe that every relationship I have holds a purpose. Maybe the purpose of this relationship was to show me that such a strong passionate connection could actually exist in real life and not just in Taylor Swift songs. Maybe it was to show me that I really don’t hate PDA if it’s with someone I have feelings for. Or maybe the purpose of this relationship was for me to prevent Mark from accidentally lighting his apartment complex on fire. If so, you’re welcome.
Swipe Right.