Julio…and the Long Distance

Funny story about this one. When this guy found out about my blog, he requested to be named, “Julio” if he ever made the cut. I jokingly told him if he didn’t f*** it up, he wouldn’t be in it. He asked what would happen to my blog once I found the right person, and I told him I would write about lessons I was learning in a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, this is not that. Brace yourself Julio, this one’s for you.

            Julio and I actually started this relationship in a long-distance manner. We matched on Hinge while he was in my city, scoping out the area for his upcoming move. He had gotten a job in my city, however, was living in Nashville for another month prior to moving. I must say, what really sold me on his profile was a video of him singing along to a Disney song. I don’t know why, but I found that really endearing. Plus, I love Disney, so there’s that. Anyway, due to the fact that he didn’t currently live in my town, I was hesitant to start any kind of relationship. However, this felt so natural. We were forced to build an emotional connection before anything else. We talked on the phone for hours, and caught up with each other every day. We talked about childhood traumas, favorite shows, future goals, future kids’ names, you name it. We even talked about what day to day life could look like. We talked about ways we would make the boring chores not-so-boring. I found it easy to picture the simplest of things with him. It felt easy, but also weird, since we hadn’t actually met yet.

            When it finally came time to meet in person, I was excited but also very nervous. I am the type of person that likes to meet someone right away and see if there is that connection in person before talking forever. I feel like the anticipation and build up can be disappointing if the in-person connection isn’t there. I personally, would rather just find out sooner versus later and not waste anyone’s time. So, although Julio and I had talked for a while, there was so much build up and pressure to make sure the connection was there when we were face to face.

            To my surprise (and relief), I felt like the connection we had on the phone, was still there in person. Of course, there were first-date jitters, but I still had a good feeling about it. After that date, we had discussed a second. Things felt pretty good at this point. But, like most relationships I’ve felt good about, things slowly took a turn. As he became more distant, I became more confused. Could this really be happening, again? (I’m not 100% convinced that I don’t have someone posing as me going around town and destroying my relationships behind my back lol)

            Eventually he explained to me that he had a family emergency and would have to return home for a while to help out. Now, the sceptic in me wanted to call bullshit. But anyone who would lie about what he told me he and his family was going through, would end up having a visit from karma anyway and there was no need for me to provoke it. So, I chose to believe him. He told me that due to his situation, he was going to focus on his family and reach out when he got back to Charlotte. Honestly, if I was in the situation he was in, dating would be so far from my radar too, so I couldn’t fault him for that.

            Over the next month or so, I reached out once to check in and received little to no response. I wasn’t attempting to maintain any type of romantic relationship at this point, and was truly just making sure he was doing okay solely as human and friend-figure to him. This is something I would do with anyone, and I wasn’t going to limit myself from being a good human being just because someone didn’t want to date me. It was super important that I stayed true to myself, regardless of his feelings towards me.

            At this point, it has been many many months since he left. I’m not even sure when he returned. He never reached out, and has since also blocked me from his Instagram. Not really sure the purpose of that? But oh well. I really thought he would be the type to communicate his feelings and be transparent. I’m truly surprised that things turned the way they did. Maybe I trusted him too much or gave him too much credit. It was a shame to me, because this guy was so different than the usual guy I went for. I was dating outside of my box, and yet the outcome remained the same. Why, you ask? Well, if I knew, I wouldn’t be on this merry-go-round. And, I would like to get the heck off pretty soon.

Regardless, I sincerely hope his family is doing okay, because at the end of the day, that’s the most important thing.

GREEN FLAGS:

-          He shared a love for Disney

-          Down-to-earth, easy to talk to

-          I could picture what life would be like with him

-          He seemed to make even the simplest of things fun and exciting

-          Wanted a family and had strong family values

RED FLAGS:

-          Slow fizzle in communication

-          Poor choice in future kids names (lol not really a red flag, but a personal preference)

-          Lack transparency at end of relationship

-          Ghosting (come on now. This is so unnecessary)

Welp, on to the next. Goodbye, Julio.

Swipe right.